Rikkiz820

Ashes Turned To Mortar
On this hill
I’ve died again
There’s no victory
For trying
I taste a lost
That can never be swallowed
And I’m choking on the sorrow
Ignorance is the debit we borrow

I’ve suffered
Foolish notions
I capsize toiling
In the swells of my emotions
Hand to God...
My faith is truly slipping
And fate twist in the balance
Trying to find a reason
To keep on living...

I close my eyes
To see you how you use to see me...
(And I weep)
I hear your voice...
You said you’ll love me forever...
(And I try to breathe you in)
I dream of how you kissed me...
(So now I want to sleep forever)
The love you use to tender...
Ashes turned to mortar.

Pieces of my heart...
Beat inside clay jars
My love is churning in the tide
Smashing against rocks
I am lost where beauty lays
Fade to black in 13 shades of grey

Where is my God
With these answers of this treason
Love is out of season
And I’ve nothing to believe in...

Love and Ashes
Dreams and Struck Matches
All are up in flames...
I only got myself to blame...
Driving love away
Living in perpetual heartache
Somethings never change
So much stays the same

I close my eyes
To see you how you use to see me...
(And I weep)
I hear your voice...
You said you’ll love me forever...
(And I try to breathe you in)
I dream of how you kissed me...
(So now I want to sleep forever)
The love you use to tender...
Ashes turned to mortar

Cerise welts pounded upon a quivering bottom.
Vibes linking two broken souls to a vision larger than imagination.
A vaulted chasm of orgasm spasm...
One fuck ton beyond fathoming.

Cravings never fade away...

The heart wants what the heart wants.
The belly aches to be fed.
The soul weeps for its soulmate estranged.
The mouth yearns for only one taste.
The mind is famished from craving the most sublime
The heart wants what the heart wants…
The most intimate cravings of my fond desire.

Nothing else in this World could compare…
    I’m in despair.

Have you ever physically traced the footsteps back to your Heaven?
I have wandered about the World, but find my Heaven in one particular part of the World.
There are times I take excursions to places in the black of night to be in the vicinity of the silent memoirs…
Often I exercise a restraint to heel, but yearning is always burning and never subsides…
Sometimes a walk can curb this appetite… but when I am utterly broken… I DRIVE.
My desire is to be within the stretch of my blurry eyes focus…
Beyond the scope of audible utterances…
Down wind of the sent of my damnation…
Not to torture myself…
Not to be a presence…
Not to be engaged or discovered…
Not to smother…
Not to massage any manipulative action…
I just think I do this, because two of the three the people in my life I love the most without waiver are deceased…
All I get is to be as close to them as I can be...
Sitting in my car at a cemetery.
Contrary to what you think...
It's where my heart beats loudest and feels rooted.
It is from them I have learned that I cannot have them in my life…
I cannot show up on their doorstep and greet them with a hug and a kiss….
I cannot just pickup the phone and call them to say I love you.
And if I could… I assure you that they would not hesitate for one more embrace.
So you should understand…
I would kiss the mouth right off ones face, but I can’t.
So I am damned…
I realize that limbo is between the plaines of Heaven and Earth…
And though you see me looking much alive… I’m a Ghost.
So, I walk back to where we use to stand, lay, kiss, dream, talk, laugh, and breathe.
I tender all that was and regret all that cannot be.
I am in love with the sweet palatable taste of your memory…
And that in itself is where I tend to be…
What you think you see… Is me fearing not to believe.
Oh, what I would give… to have all three…
But two are deceased…
And the other shall have none of me.

Love is laid low today because yesterday’s tomorrow will never feel the sun shower of the coming of your dawn.
The mist of the dewy air will not congregate upon the flush cheek of frost in your winter.
The utterance of your lilts will be only imagined in the resonance of the wind sifting through rustling leaves come autumn.
Melancholy sweet sonnets spill from hearts forsaken to the dissolution of flesh and breath.
Petals are swallowed into the sea… Scattered with the breeze… and lay at the feet of weeping willow trees.
Sorrow will fill the morrow and seep into the marrow of every memory borrowed… Striking true to the heart like fletched arrows.
All I tender lingers in a whisper of affirmation of all we once were that has withered…
The stir of truths will become your lighthouse in the blackest of night…
Bruises will dissolve, love will absolve, discovery of all lost, will be the equity of our loss.
Crewel Ebonized wings will sprout Alation and take flight…
Lost in the fold of the blind seeking second sight…
There shall be no resting place for the restless heart…
Cranberry sky kissed by the pewter clouds as azure waves refract golden embers stippling upon the billowing of the tide.
The  sun sinks in the abyss of reverence of reminiscence tracing the attributes of your splendor…
The sonorous murmurs of your airy sighs skim across the shore ensnaring phallic shaped cairns erected from memoirs.
So be it… I die.
I die today as I died yesterday. And tomorrow will be much the same…
Be it as it is… Be it as it must be… Be it against my beckoning… Be it against my grievances that have been much denied…
Be it in the wake of foolish endeavors, be it in the aftermath of lost treasure….
Be it another day without you…
So be it… I long to die.